The last three months have been a time of stretching and growing. Coming back from Mexico I felt a little lost. I’ve prayed about missions for the last four years. I had the opportunity to do what I wanted, but it wasn’t the right time. Talk about discouraging. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad we went, and God is definitely using that experience to better us. But then coming home to no job and no idea of what I wanted to do, I’ve felt a lack of purpose. Yeah, I’m in school still and have a small group I help with at youth group. But I can’t make things my life. Then that thought is immediately followed by, well Jesus is supposed to be my life. True. But I still need a job. I know that He has more for me than this right now. The last few weeks have been hard. I get up in the morning and get ready to go sub at a school, but they never call me. So instead I spend my days doing homework and making greeting cards that no one buys. Yes, I’m sure He has more for me than this. (I love making cards and would love to make that my only job, but until it’s to a point we can survive off of it, I need another job to compensate for it.)
I can get very stressed about school. I’ve always made good grades so nothing less than that is acceptable. In a class I had a few months ago, I was checking my grades and I go upset because I missed a point. One point. Eventually I came around and thought, missing one point is okay. It’s still a good grade. Over the last couple of weeks, I started praying that God would show me what is important to Him. What the world says is important and what He says is important are two different things. As I made this my prayer, I started thinking, I can’t take my GPA with me to heaven or a nice big house or my cards. Those things are nice and it’s important to work hard, but things aren’t eternal. My relationship with God is eternal. My goal is to please Him while I’m on earth. Galatians 1:10 says, “Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be a Christian”. That verse hit me hard when I read it. I can’t aim to please people and be a servant of His at the same time.
My devotional this morning talked all about this. The devo is based on Matthew 6:19-34. Oswald Chambers writes, “… He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first”.