I was recently praying for people as the Holy Spirit led me to. My mind wandered a bit on a specific person, and I found myself comparing. Comparison is something I struggle with often. But instead of comparing myself to them, I was comparing them to myself. And that comparison was still wrong! I began thinking, well I was able to do x, y, and z so she should be able to too. Once I recognized what I was doing, I repented, and God began to talk to me about grace. I had grace to go through a busy season in my life, and it wasn’t too hard to get everything done. But I need to give a sister some grace, because maybe this stuff is harder for her than it was for me. And that’s okay. Sometimes what’s easy for others isn’t easy for me. Like being a mama. I need grace as I continue through this journey called parenthood, because some things are harder for me do and navigate than others. And that’s okay! I needed grace when we walked through loss and waited for our promise. And now I can easily give that grace to others who are experiencing similar things. But I also need to give grace when life is hard for others, even if their situation wouldn’t be hard for me. I am so thankful for God’s grace that He so freely gives to me every day.
It’s Mother’s Day. Again. It’s my first Mother’s Day with a baby in my arms. And that’s something to celebrate. But today is also a day that is so hard for so many. It’s hard for those who have lost a child. It’s hard for those who are waiting and longing to be a mom. It’s an agonizing reminder of what they don’t have. It can be exhausting mentally and emotionally. While everyone else is celebrating the day away, they’re putting on a brave face waiting for the socializing to end so they can let their guard down and let the tears flow freely. I know because I’ve been there. And for those of you who are there now, you are seen and heard. You are prayed for. My heart is broken for you.
On my first Mother’s Day, I was still very much grieving our loss. I had a great support system around me to encourage me, but it was still hard. At church that morning they asked all the mothers to stand up. I had every intention of standing because I was a mom. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It still hurt too much. So today if/when the pastor asks all the moms to stand, I’m going to sit. I’m going to sit with you who are grieving and can’t bring yourself to stand. I’m going to sit with you who are still waiting for your promise; for you who are waiting to be that mama you dream about being.
Today is a little bittersweet because I only have one of my babies with me to celebrate Mother’s Day. So for the other mamas who don’t have all their babies with them today, give them some grace. Give grace to those who are in the hard season of waiting. Love on them and remind them they are not alone.